Reflections of a vile person

I have been extremely vile these past few weeks. And I'm so disappointed and I'm honestly just disgusted with myself. I've been judging others so much that I've just ended up as messed up and ugly as society is.

Recently, I've been watching/observing some human interactions...you can say. And I always think "Ah, the ugliness of human nature." Stress shows people's true character. And how you act in those moments, moments of tension, moments which may not seem as critical as it seems then, really reveals what a person you are I suppose. And then I end up disgusted at some because of how they reacted in a situation, and I feel like I'm brought back from that hopelessness whenever one (that society perceives as abnormal/is prejudiced against) is actually the most humane of them all.

I've never really been one to be purposefully very unpleasant in that sense. I'd always try to be nice to people - you get what you give. Also, I didn't like the idea of hurting or putting people down. But recently, when times have been getting tough in life, I've been going against this and I've totally became worse than what I was before. I'm a total hypocritical bitch.

I know that I'm a bitch (in general). I dislike a lot of things and after accepting that there is nothing wrong with being bitchy and snarky, I do gripe about certain things. But I think that I've overdone this this time, and its just filling me up with negativity. It feels like my entire being, my "soul" has been taken over by the devil. Its currently so filled with hatred and unpleasant thoughts that it has seeped into whatever I do and say and I feel like I cannot stop it.

What happened?

I think that I've had it with people. I need time to sort myself out in that sense. I think that I need therapy. I'm going to remove whatever is causing me to be this way from my life.

I am such a shitty person. I probably deserve everything that is thrown to me in life for being such a wicked and vengeful bitch. Let me die a spinster that owns cats. I honestly don't mind. Loneliness is probably a small price to pay for not unleashing my disgusting personality and character on the world anyway.