Pre-examination stress

Hello there. I've deleted all my previous posts because I felt like it. I want to start blogging again but this time I want to start anew. Nope, say goodbye to those sporadic posts that I used to do. Now, I'm really going to be updating regularly. At least once per week, what do you think of that?

Anyhoo, this week is the long awaited or dreaded September school holidays! Whoopee! But no. I'm actually dying right now trying to study (which is really hard to do). There's just a ton of stuff to memorize or know before next week comes and I've just come down rather ill yesterday night after a day of studying. This is horrible to say the least. My nose is stuffy, my throat is itchy and I feel extremely cold for no reason at all. Due to this I refused to do any work yesterday night and this morning and hence, I'm now behind schedule according to my well planned out study timetable.

Let me share how I'm planning to study for my promos this year. Since I honestly do not pay any attention in class, especially lectures because its a terrible environment to try and concentrate in and the teaching is always less than stellar, I have to read through and understand the notes all over again. And since I must understand everything that I read I often ponder over whatever I read and take a whole lot more time to go through my notes.

Usually, I don't really study but now I'm in my panicky mode. I've realised that I've got a huge phobia of failure and I will actually start panicking in examinations now. Which is horrible. I'm actually passing in my previous terms without trying too hard but if I were to not study and if my grades were to drop even more I might end up retaining and I ain't got no time for that shit. I really cannot tolerate the idea of spending (wasting) one more year going through all the bullshit that I have to learn for the A levels and I really just want to get this over with.

So I'm taking the subject combination of Biology, Chemistry, and English literature at the H2 level and Math and General Paper at H1. Literature and Maths are going totally fine, I have no worries about them. But my sciences are totally killing me. Chemistry was fine until I got butchered during the common test. I'd spent too much time on section B which I did relatively okay for, totally didn't study for the shit that they tested for section C so I literally got 2/20 marks for that, and since I had no time to properly complete my multiple choice questions I just shaded C for all - which was a pretty good gamble in my opinion because most of the answers usually end up being B or C or D. But no, just my luck. Out of 20 questions, 20 bloody questions, only 3 had the answer C. Like wtf right?! I swear it was karma biting me in the arse and bad luck of not studying the right topics. That caused me to have only near 30% of the marks which pulled my overall average from a D to a bloody U.

But honestly, I didn't study for my common tests at all. I only spent like one day of studying for chemistry and literally 4 hours to flip through my notes for biology? I am determined to attempt to pull my grades up this time round though, so I shall post my upcoming end of year test aims here so that I will be able to compare how I fared honestly.

So since I've already completed my General Paper examination which I felt that I've totally butchered due to extremely hard/tricky questions on both the comprehension and essay portions, I'm pretty worried and this is incentive to work harder.

My first combined grades for all subjects:

Disclaimer - I know that they look horrible so this just goes to show that Asian kids aren't all that smart in actual fact. I'm lazy and a dumbass okay?!

General Paper - 47.5% (E)
Mathematics - 72.3% (A)
Biology - 52.2% (D)
Chemistry - 35.6% (U)
Literature in English - 67.5% (B)

And now, for my aims for this last exam of the year:

General Paper - 50% (I have no hope left)
Mathematics - 80%
Biology - 60%
Chemistry - 55%
Literature in English - 75%

Now saying that, I feel like I have quite lofty expectations. I shall leave you now to get my lazy as hell ass to studying again.

Oh and to explain how close I am to retaining here is my explanation. I need 6 academic units and a pass in General Paper (which I don't think the school is very strict on. I'm sure I'll be able to conditionally promote even if I end up having a sub-pass overall). Since every H1 pass is 1 academic unit and a H2 pass is 2, and considering my current grades, I have to pull my Chemistry to a pass or at least a sub-pass where I would get 1 academic unit in order to secure my promotion and meet the criteria since I'm pretty confident in my Lit and Bio and H1 Math. So I just need to secure that 1 last point.

We will meet again next week (or maybe if I get too stressed out this week and retreat here again!) Goodbye online reader, thanks for reading my rather idealistic post!