Post-exams? HA

So I've gotten all my results back, and I'm so relieved to be able to promote to the next year normally i.e. I've met all the promotion criteria of the school! :-) it's such a relief for me and I feel rather undeserving of it because I honestly didn't try my best. I spent one day in the holiday week going overseas with my family and didn't put in as much time as some others have. I didn't do well but I didn't completely flunk either. 

I've started working. And it's hard but it's a pretty good experience. I'm quite glad that I took it up because I'm learning so much from it. The pay doesn't hurt too. It's my first time working too so I'm just really excited about it. 

The next few weeks will suck though. Project work is killing me so badly because it's a mess and I don't really know how to improve it. It's pretty alright though but the stress of getting an A is getting to me. I don't really think about it but it's always at the back of my mind. 

I've been a real grouch lately. Been having a week of ups and downs being annoyed at people and being civil when I'm really mad. I don't feel like I'm suited to my current lifestyle. It's suffocating me. I enjoy doing something though, but I especially hate not having any direction to work towards. 

I realize that I'm a really sensitive person (okay no surprise there) so little things get to me and sometimes I tend to be too brusque. But whatever that's another topic for another day. 

I came to the realization that this end of year school holiday is going to be my last nov-dec schooling holiday ever. I'm kinda nostalgic. Time is flying too fast. It's terrifying - the fact that I will be taking my A levels in a years time. I'm not ready. I'm not even prepared. 

Reality sucks.